When you sit still long enough, you are bound to feel a little heart tug. It is easy to disregard this nudge, I’ve been doing it for years. Lately, I have spent a little more intentional time in stillness. Let me be clear, “a little more time” means just that – on a good day, we’re talking maybe 10 minutes. It seems that’s all it takes.
What is this “tug” I speak of? I bet you’ve felt it, probably a lot, without even realizing it. It’s the moment tears well up when you hear your favorite song, a brief moment of feeling at peace, a throbbing or pulse in your body when you feel alive, the ease you feel when you truly trust, or catching a glimpse of a sunrise that makes you take pause in your morning routine, and almost happy to be up at that hour to see it. If you choose to heed these moments, they will permeate you.
Paying attention to these moments can create confusion. They stir more questions than answers. This has been my experience lately.
A friend of mine gave me a book called One Year to Live by Stephen Levine after I expressed an intense fear of death. The tagline of this book is, how to live this year as if it were your last. The author has worked with the terminally ill for decades and was struck by how often he hears something to the effect of, “I never really lived.” He asked readers what they would do if they knew they had only one year left to live. We live under the illusion that we have so much time, yet, the real truth is, we might not.
I spent a few weeks surveying my friends, “what would you do if you had only one year to live?”. For me, this question was difficult to answer. All I know is, I want to live, now. I’m not asking that life be perfect, or even extraordinary. I just don’t want to put all my desires on a bucket list I never get to.
Which brings up some important questions:
What DO I desire?
What do I want to spend my days doing?
What makes me come alive?
Here is a very short list of what I came up with while journaling one morning. It is actually hard to answer these questions. The answers only lead to more questions.
So, Heath and I have carved out this next year in our life to dance with these questions. To try some of these things on. To listen even more to that heart tug, with hope it will guide us to being more of who we are meant to be.
This article was reblogged from Emily Brown via Our Sacred Life.
Emily Brown and her husband Heath are walking away from the things that no longer fulfill them and together are embarking on an adventure with their family. Emily is the brains behind BodyLove by Emily, Communications Manager at Dirtbags, LLC., and co-founder at Dharma – The Institute for Awakened Living.
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